The Forbidden Woman and the Fall of Men

Brothers, NEVER let your guard down.

Proverbs 7 is a sober warning from father to son. Solomon paints a vivid picture of a young man who wanders too close to danger. He strolls near the house of the forbidden woman. He lingers in the twilight, thinking he is safe, but he is not. She meets him with flattery and beauty. He follows her like an ox to the slaughter. His life is destroyed.

That’s the pattern. It was true then, it’s true now. My aim in this article is simple: to expose the forbidden woman for what she is, to warn men of the danger, and to call both men and women to Christ, who forgives, restores, and empowers us to walk in wisdom.

Why the Warning Is About a Woman

Solomon did not say, “Beware the forbidden man” or “watch our for the forbidden person.” He said, avoid “the forbidden woman.”

Why? Because men and women sin differently. Men like to look, women like to be looked at. God designed men with a stronger sex drive. That drive is good, because it pushes a man to pursue a wife, build a household, and raise children. But sin twists it. Left unchecked, it pulls men into ruin.

A woman’s natural biology makes her more sexually reserved because she is the one who bears the cost of pregnancy. Men may know this cognitively, but for women, its a God-given, biological intuition.

Every civilization since the dawn of time has recognized that women are the custodians of sexuality and the gatekeepers of sexual intercourse because they are the ones for whom one sexual encounter can produce life altering consequences. Cultures across history recognized this and built norms around it.

But with the invention of birth control, sex was severed from its consequences, enabling women to act more like men sexually. The sexual revolution has prompted an explosion of promiscuity and a culture that produces “forbidden women” with factory like efficiency. Modern women have been so severed from the reproductive purpose of sex that they can have unrestrained casual sex without considering the possibility of pregnancy.

Thus, the forbidden woman from Proverbs 7 is everywhere. She’s on every screen, in every workplace, every neighborhood, and even in many churches. Solomon’s warning is as relevant now as ever.

Fools Wander Near Her House

Solomon describes the young man:

“At the window of my house I have looked out through my lattice, and I have seen among the simple, I have perceived among the youths, a young man lacking sense, passing along the street near her corner, taking the road to her house in the twilight, in the evening, at the time of night and darkness” (Prov 7:6–8).

Notice: he wasn’t dragged into sin against his will. He chose to walk near her house. He flirted with temptation. He thought he was strong enough to handle it.

This is how most men fall. You don’t “accidentally” commit adultery. You get too close to the fire. You linger where you know you shouldn’t go. You scroll where you shouldn’t. You stay late at work when you shouldn’t. You allow a fantasy to play in your mind.

That is walking near her corner. If you do this, you are a fool.

Men, don’t be naïve. If a woman at work stirs attraction, don’t “accidentally” spend extra time with her. If a website leads you toward lust, block it. Flee temptation. Don’t stroll past it.

The Forbidden Woman’s Clothing Signals Her Character

Solomon says, “And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart” (Prov 7:10).

Women communicate with their clothing. A woman’s clothing choices may signal sexual availability (though she may claim otherwise). Some women want to be lusted after. They also reserve the right to be offended if someone they don’t approve of lusts after them. It’s irrational, but that’s the way it is.

When Solomon said the forbidden woman was “dressed as a prostitute,” what do you think he had in mind? A woman’s clothing signals her character, values, and intent. Prostitutes are in the business of selling their bodies for money, and prostitutes dress to advertise their product. The forbidden woman wears clothing that draws attention to her sexual parts because that’s what she’s selling.

If a woman has no scruples about fornication or sexual immorality, she’ll advertise it with what she wears. Brothers, that’s a tell. She may even tell you she’s a committed Christian, but her clothes tell another story. If her clothes reveal too much skin, or is skin tight, or draws attention to her breasts or hips, those aren’t merely fashion choices, those are moral choices.

That’s why modesty matters. A godly woman clothes herself in a way that honors Christ and protects her dignity. She does not dress to provoke lust or advertise what belongs only to her husband. But the forbidden woman does the opposite. She flaunts. She broadcasts sexual availability.

Men, you cannot control how women dress, but you can control your eyes. You can discipline your thoughts.

The same is true with porn. Pornography is nothing more than prostitution on a screen. The prostitute has simply moved from the street corner to the smartphone. But in the end, the woman on the screen is still a prostitute, and you’re still a john.

Porn kills masculine strength. It is a destructive lie that sex is about you, that it is all reward and all pleasure, and that sex requires no sacrifice and no commitment.

Porn rewires the brain, robbing men of motivation, leaving them passive, weak, and self-absorbed. The law of diminishing returns is in play here, causing men to seek ever escalating levels of novelty, kink, and deviancy. It deadens the conscience, perverting one’s perception of what sexual intimacy should be like, which often prohibits a man from finding satisfaction with hiw wife. There’s a new phenomena called “Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction” (PIED) that is sharply rising in men under 40.

There’s no excuse for porn. It doesn’t matter if you’re lonely, or bored, or insecure, or can’t find a girlfriend. Porn is a shortcut that provides just enough stimulation to temporarily satiate your appetites, but not enough to bring any lasting satisfaction.

Whatever your problems in life are, I can assure you, porn won’t make a single one of them any better. It is a modern day, digital brothel, open 24/7, and millions of men walk in every day.

Brothers, you must starve your eyes of this poison. Your sex drive was meant to build your household, not to feed Satan’s schemes.

Most Affairs Begin at Work

Solomon adds, “She is loud and wayward; her feet do not stay at home; now in the street, now in the market, and at every corner she lies in wait.” (Prov 7:11–12).

Why did Solomon mention that “her feet do not stay at home?” Why does that matter? Because it reveals something important about her priorities. She’s not working to build up her household. She’s known as a woman who neglects her household.

This is particularly relevant in our day, when large numbers of men and women work together closely. When men and women work on projects together, share stressors together, meet deadlines together, the work environment can crackle with a strong, sexual energy that leads them into temptation.

How easily we forget that the modern “career woman” is an historical novelty, practically unheard of before the Industrial Revolution. The Industrial Revolution gave us the career woman, for whom her career is her top priority, not her family. This can explain why there are more single women living alone now than ever before.

These women may not be married, and they may not have children, but that doesn’t mean they’re chaste. It’s pretty common these days for some woman on social media to brag about her double digit “body count.” This is increasingly common. When large numbers of women neglect their homes in pursuit of careers, it is inevitable that workplace trysts and affairs will follow. Some companies have developed HR policies to manage workplace sexual escapades.

Men, you may not have a choice about who you work with and under what conditions. Nevertheless, you must be on your guard. Do not let your guard down for a moment. Do not seek emotional (or any other form) of intimacy from a woman who is not your wife. There may be a woman in your workplace right now that is dangerous to you and you know it.

But you indulge it anyway because the attention she gives you feels good. That’s my next point.

She Uses Flattery and Smooth Words

Solomon writes: “With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him” (Prov 7:21).

Every man longs to be admired. The forbidden woman knows this. She praises him. She compliments his work which makes him feel respected. Many men fall because a woman flattered his ego.

Brothers, beware of flattery. That little thrill you feel from the admiration of an attractive woman should sound like a fire engine in your soul. That’s danger. The devil is laying bait in front of you, hoping you’ll indulge it.

Don’t go there. Politely tell her “thank you,” then turn and walk away. Tell brothers in your church about it. Let them pray for you and hold you accountable. But don’t let another woman’s words give you what only your wife should give. Husbands, the best safeguard is to cultivate a strong marriage where love and admiration are freely given and received.

The Cost of Following Her

Solomon concludes:

“All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter… he does not know that it will cost him his life.” (Prov 7:22–23).

That is the endgame. Not pleasure. Not freedom. Death. The Devil knows it, and you know it. Your family will be ruined. You children will despise you for cheating on their mother. Your legacy is threatened. Perhaps your marriage will recover, but it will take years of focused effort to repair the damage, during which time the devil has taken you out of the game for God’s kingdom.

Satan never shows you the butcher’s knife when he lays out the bait. But make no mistake: one step down this path leads will destroy everything you care about and everything you’ve worked for. It’s never worth it.

Christ Is Better

The warning is heavy. But Proverbs 7 is not the end of the story.

If you’ve fallen into this kind of sin, whether it’s with porn, or even adultery, hear this: Christ forgives sinners. The blood of Jesus is stronger than your worst failure. The cross of Christ pays for every lustful glance, every secret act, and every broken vow. In him, there is cleansing.

And Christ doesn’t just forgive, he also restores. By the power of the Spirit, we can overcome temptation and walk in obedience. Don’t believe it when people say lust and sexual sin is something you have to just live with. No. You can overcome this sin in the power of the Spirit. I’m not saying it will be easy, but scripture gives us confidence that in the power of the Holy Spirit, we can conquer any sin.

The Holy Spirit trains weak men to be strong. He lifts fallen men and sets them back on their feet. The only safe refuge from the forbidden woman is Christ himself. He is wisdom in the flesh. He is the faithful bridegroom who never strays. He is the one who satisfies the deepest longings of the soul.

So run to him. Repent quickly. Confess your sins. Walk in the light. Find accountability. Pursue holiness. And fight with the strength he provides.

Conclusion

The forbidden woman is real. She destroyed men in Solomon’s day. She destroys men now. She is relentless, persuasive, and destructive. Avoid her. Do not wander near her house. Do not toy with her words. Do not let your eyes linger. She is a trap. She is a snare. She is death.

But in Christ, you can stand. In Christ, men can discipline their desires, guard their households, and leave a godly legacy. Fix your eyes on Christ. Walk in wisdom. Build your household. Guard your name. And by God’s grace, leave a legacy that cannot be shaken.

Postscript

This article is adapted from a recent sermon I preached at my church. I’ve since heard feedback from a number of men and women that this was a desperately needed message, the kind of sermon that parents will send to their young sons as they get older. Perhaps you’ll benefit from hearing the whole thing yourself (Youtube | Audio only).