The Fallacy of Servant Leadership

For many modern evangelicals, it's "all servant" and "no leadership"

The Fallacy of Servant Leadership

The idea of “servant leadership” has become very popular in recent years. When I first started hearing this language about 20-ish years ago, I loved it. Jesus is clearly a leader, but he was also a servant. Jesus said, “let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves” (Luke 22:26). He demonstrated this powerfully by washing his disciples’ feet, as a servant (John 13). In his incarnation, Paul said, Jesus took “the form of a servant” (Phil 2:7).

For many people, the phrase “servant leader” is probably a tactful way of saying “a leader who isn’t abusive.” I get that. If that’s all someone means by the phrase, that’s fine. But I think there’s more going on.

So why do I call it a fallacy? Taken at face value, the “servant leadership” concept is simple, biblical truth. In the workplace, we love the phrase “servant leader” because it enables us to define leadership according to our preferences. The subtle implication is that the ones under the leader are actually in charge. Although the leader is still responsible, his authority is neutered. And the ones under his leadership have a subjective basis for accusing him of poor leadership. “He wasn’t serving us!”

As it is commonly used, the word servant is used to erode the authority of the leader. “Servant leadership” may sound biblical, but it seems to have resulted in in all service and no leadership. The word servant is used as an adjective that neutralizes leadership of its sense of command or authority, while retaining the label. In other words, servant leadership becomes kind of a square circle, where the paradoxical word pairing empties leadership of its meaning.

In the home, it enables men to passively abdicate their responsibility to lead their home while believing this is the Christ-like thing to do. In a marriage, the proper way to understand how leadership and service fit together is to recognize that every husband’s primary service is to God, and he serves God by leading his wife and household. He does not use his authority as a petty tyrant, barking orders to get everyone to wait on him hand-and-foot. His leadership is a service to God and to those who are counting on him to lead. He serves his household by leading them, the same way a Senator could say, “I’ve served two terms in office.” The Senator is a leader, and his leadership is a service to his constituents. We don’t elect Senators to follow us around and bring us our coffee. We elect Senators to lead us.

In a household, a husband serves his wife and family by leading them in ways prescribed by the God who joined them in a covenant union (Matt 19:6, Eph 5:25-28). Marriage ultimately belongs to God, and he designed men and women with unique natures that correspond to their respective duties. God holds the husband responsible for the leadership of his household (Gen 3:9), but thankfully, God has given him a wife to help him bear it. The husband leads his family through his own personal sanctification, by leading his family on a productive mission to establish their household for God’s glory, by providing for their material needs and safety, by protecting them from all manner of physical and spiritual dangers, by ensuring his children are properly instructed in the Christian faith, by ensuring his household belongs to a biblically faithful church family, and by demonstrating a steadfast, firm commitment to following Christ no matter what. The husband is primarily responsible for all these things, and God has given him authority in his household to see it through. This is his leadership, and his leadership is a service.

An old phrase I heard growing up is “henpecked husband,” which refers to a man who is “browbeaten, bullied, or intimidated by [his] wife, girlfriend.” He is a man who “never dared to contradict his wife” (source: dictionary.com). This sort of man dutifully complies with everything his wife tells him to do with a “yes, dear” attitude. From all outward appearances, everyone would think of him as a “servant,” but he is not a leader. He is a follower and his wife is the leader. This is neither good nor godly.

And yet, the “henpecked” moniker is a term of derision, because he is all servant and no leader. This is quite common in modern evangelicalism, because we’ve bought into the lie that godly masculinity is all about being a servant, and very little about taking responsibility to lead with strength, decisiveness, and courage. That’s why I do not like the label “servant leadership.” While is it technically true, it practically nudges men to be more passive, which is a temptation for all men.

I know of one man who bought in fully to the servant leadership idea. In his mind, he was being a godly husband to his wife, while in practice, she was running the show. He did whatever she wanted him to do. I called him once because they had been making a habit out of skipping church. They would go months without showing up even once. He responded, “my wife is tired from working long hours on Saturdays, so we’ve been staying home on Sundays so I can serve her.” He pulled the “I’m being a servant to my wife card” to feign virtue while concealing vice. He was not leading his wife on a mission, she had become the mission.

The servant leadership approach doesn’t not account for how much Jesus constantly commanded obedience from his followers. The Good Shepherd leads his sheep, and his leadership is a service to them. Jesus serves us by not only leading and commanding us, but by becoming one of us, taking responsibility to save us, dying for us, and preparing an eternal home for us. That’s true servant leadership.

To explore this idea further, check out Rich Lusk’s piece on “The Danger of Servant Leadership” and Aaron Renn’s masculinist newsletter on “The Servant Leader Model of Attraction.”

My Book, “God’s Good Design,” is now LIVE on Amazon!

My book, “God’s Good Design: A Biblical, Practical, and Theological Guide to Human Sexuality” is now available on Amazon. (UPDATE: That’s the Kindle link. Here’s the paperback link.) This has been a labor of love getting this material together, and I’ve been praying for months that it will strengthen, encourage, and challenge the church to be more faithful and resolute to live out God’s design as men and women.

I sent out a few Advance Reader Copies (“ARCs”) for review. Here’s what they said.

This reviewer said:

“God's Good Design speaks to some of the most pressing issues of our day. It is written for Pastors/Counselors/Christians active in ministry, as well as laymembers, to better understand & apply a Biblical Worldview to our current cultural context. This is not an apologetic book; Clary assumes his reader already has a working knowledge of Scripture and a desire to follow God's design. He does a good job of explaining Biblical Principles and the context of the ancient world in which they were written. He carefully threads the needle of providing context without dismissing the commands of Scripture, and he avoids getting overly prescriptive for individual modern situations. Personally, I found the most thought-provoking and innovative portion of the book to be his chapter on Manhood/Fatherhood; if you are on the fence, I recommend reading the book for that section alone, if nothing else! One of my favorite quotes from the book is this:

"A boy’s masculinity develops by differentiating himself, becoming
more independent, and resisting his mother’s nurturing impulse to keep him dependent on her. This differentiation is necessary for him to take on responsibilities for a future wife and children. In a way, his mother’s nurturing virtues can be a hindrance to his masculine development. These motherly instincts are good in themselves but need to be counterbalanced by fatherly instincts that challenge him towards greater independence...What I am saying is that the virtue of masculine strength is oriented towards taking responsibility for others, which is something he must cultivate within himself."

If you are a Christian seeking to faithfully apply scripture to your life and/or the lives of those you shepherd, I highly recommend you read this book! Read it, hold it up to scripture, discuss it with others, chew on the ideas. Even if you don't agree with all of Clary's points or conclusions, I guarantee his book will give you much to learn from and ponder.”

Another reviewer said:

“God's Good Design is a wonderful book that gives an overview of how God designed human sexuality. Michael pulls wisdom and experience from his ministry as a church planter to discuss one of the biggest topics of confusion in the American church today.

Michael does not seek to "bring us back to the 1950's" or try to apply his marriage's structure as a universal truth, but instead he works through scripture and explains how God designed us to be as men and women. Michael provides a deep dive into what the household looked like in the Biblical era and discusses how modernity has brought challenges to the household.

This book has a very pastoral tone and could be given to someone to help them understand the Biblical view of marriage, families, and sexuality.”

I can’t wait to interact with more people about this content.

Social Media Roundup

• I changed my Facebook cover photo with my favorite blurb for my book. C. R. Wiley is an author/pastor who has helped me tremendously in my own thinking and writing, so to receive this praise for my book was a major encouragement. For some reason, the image looks kind of grainy. I’ll need to figure that out.

• A quick testimony of a nice father-son moment with my boys.

• Here’s a story I shared on Twitter about a man in my church (full text below)

A man in my church named Dan was once an embittered Vietnam vet before coming to faith in Christ. God turned his hard hearted rebellion into a humble zeal for Christ and church ministry.

In Vietnam, Dan was injured on patrol and sent to a hospital for treatment where he encountered other injured soldiers who were begging to die. He was so miserable there he insisted on being released to return to his squad. The doctor reluctantly complied and signed his release.

Dan was assigned a seat on a chinook helicopter to return to his squad. Chinooks are great for transporting lots of men but dangerously bulky and slow, making them easy targets for surface to air missiles. Aware of this risk, Dan refused to go aboard.

Instead, he hitched a ride on a Jeep with a sergeant who was headed the same direction. Upon his return to his squad, Dan reported to his commanding officer, who greeted him with a look of shock and disbelief.

The chinook helicopter Dan was assigned to was shot down, killing everyone aboard. Rescuers searched for Dan's body but were unable to locate it. So Dan was reported missing in action to his commanding officer. Dan should have died that day. But God had other plans.

Several weeks later, Dan was instructed to call home immediately, tho he had never been permitted to call home from active duty before. So, he asked “why?” Here's why. His parents had received a letter from the Army telling them their son was dead. He'd been killed in action.

This call would be like receiving their son back from the dead. After the war (and a battle with drug & alcohol addiction), God saved Dan through the faithful witness of a Christian prof in college. He went on to become a youth minister, church planter, & pastor.

Now in his retirement, Dan and his wife are faithful members of my church. There's more. A few months ago, my friend Matt Patrick, who grew up in the Cincinnati area, spoke at our church’s men’s retreat. It was at this retreat that Matt figured out a key puzzle in his own salvation story.

Back in high school, Matt got saved at a small church plant in Northern KY, but after all these years, he couldn’t remember the name of it. On our men's retreat, Matt discovered it was the church Dan planted a long time ago. The church no longer exists, but it still bears fruit.

God used Dan’s hatred for hospitals and stubborn refusal to comply with orders to save his life, save his soul, and later the souls of others. And many years later, Dan was able to witness the fruit of his labor in Matt's life from decades earlier.

God does amazing things like this all the time and we don't know it. Every Christian’s life is filled with unknown little “coincidences” that God uses to bring about his eternal purposes for his glory and our good.

Other Media Mentions

• The piece I wrote for American Reformer on contextualization was mentioned in a few places, such as The Aquila Report. After writing this piece, I started receiving emails from pastors and church leaders who have had similar thoughts and wanted to talk further. I also posted the audio version of this content on my podcast.