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reformgirly27's avatar

Wow so that was really good. I do see in myself how I was like this with my son more when he was younger. I have gotten mad at my husband, when I have been over bearing. I think they both just stay quiet to not wake the " bear" Is there anything you could say to mom's who have been this way prior, and what to do now? But also how not get to discouraged when we finally see it?

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High Meadow Lady's avatar

Pity the poor son who has no Father to intervene. The lack of a complete nuclear family is a hard obstacle to overcome, especially for boys.

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Michael Clary's avatar

First of all, remember the gospel. If you've been an overbearing mother, confess and repent as appropriate and receive the grace of Jesus. Secondly, consider telling them about changes you want to make. When I've recognized my failures as a father, I try to straight forwardly acknowledge it and tell them how I'm correcting it. "Kids, I've not led our family well in this area. I want to correct it going forward. Here's what I plan to do. Pray for me to do it well." If you've been overbearing and your kids are older (as in, out of the house), the circumstances would determine the best course of action. Praying for you now!

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reformgirly27's avatar

Thankyou. I left a prayer card in the offering box Sunday. I was worried about my husband and now readingbthis threw I see it's been mostly me. Please forgive me for complaining on my husband even threw a prayer card.. I have so much to learn can be overwhelming sometimes.

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Michael Clary's avatar

Oh, I didn't know who this was! Now I do. We prayed for you at staff meeting and your family. We will continue to do so. God is at work! Keep striving after Christ in the hope of the gospel.

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Denise Humphrey's avatar

I agree completely! One of the most important parts of a mother’s role is learning to let go when they’ve done the job of raising their children. You empower your sons when you let them lead their own wives and their families. This is what you’ve trained them to do! And, might I add, their wives will be grateful too, as they will have a husband and mother in law who both know their roles and boundaries.

Couldn’t agree more about husbands who allow their wives to be overprotective and over involved. Often the children end up being overly dependent on their parents and, yet, resentful of having all their decisions made for them.

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Michael Clary's avatar

Amen!

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Todd Hacker's avatar

Spot on. Might I add, the absent father makes it exponentially worse. Zero "Godly" male influence is evident in society today. Played out in the scene you described. Thank you for having the courage to write and post this. Truth is never popular. My prayers are with you my brother.

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Michael Clary's avatar

Thank you Todd, I appreciate that!

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