How Envy and Ego Wreck Churches—and How to Stop Them

Martin Luther said it well: "Truth at all costs. Peace if possible."

I’ve seen my fair share of church conflicts. Sometimes you can see them brewing from a mile away but there’s nothing you can do to stop them. As conflict rises, emotions run hot, and these situations call for extraordinary wisdom to prevent them from burning the whole church down.

Scripture gives a map for navigating church conflicts, identifying two kinds of wisdom: one from God, the other from the world (James 3:13-18). The first builds up. The second tears apart. When relationships crack, trust breaks, and tempers flare, we need men and women of true wisdom to broker peace. Not the fake kind that sweeps sin under the rug, but the kind rooted in truth and aimed at godliness.

True wisdom is the skill of godly living. It’s knowing what to do in different situations. But Christians can be seduced by a kind of false wisdom that looks good at first glance but produces rotten fruit in the long run. Scripture calls it “earthly, unspiritual, demonic” (James 3:15).

Two Dynamics of Every Conflict

In every conflict, there’s always two dynamics at work. There’s the presenting issue, which is what everyone says the conflict is about. It could be a doctrinal disagreement, a church decision, or a misunderstanding. The issue is open and obvious. But there’s also a second dynamic in play, which is subtle and hidden. These are the social, interpersonal issues between which push the conflict forward and give it heat.

For example, two men may be having a debate over Calvinism (the presenting issue), but the hidden, unacknowledged driver of the conflict is their personal dislike for each other (the social issue). Very often, we focus all our time and energy on the presenting issue while leaving the social issues unaddressed.

Think of it this way. Conservative Christians will tell you they believe this or that thing because it’s biblical. But what few Christians would acknowledge (or even be aware of) is the fact that they believe this or that thing because that’s what all their friends believe.

We may not feel comfortable with this, but it’s a truth that must be acknowledged. Many of us don’t believe things because we’ve searched the scriptures and arrived at a biblical conclusion. We believe it because someone we like teaches it and all of our friends believe it. The opposite is also true. There are some doctrines we reject because we don’t like or trust the people who teach it.

This is not necessarily wrong. Humans are social creatures, after all, and we rely on teachers and authorities to guide us into greater understanding. That’s why scripture places a heavy premium on faithful teaching (James 3:1).

My point is this. We’re not nearly as biblical as we think we are. We hold our doctrines for social reasons and then we tell everyone its what God’s word says. Doctrinal issues and social issues are intertwined.

Back to my original point. Every church conflict has a mixture of doctrinal issues, which are out in the open, and social issues, which are hidden and unacknowledged. That’s where deeper wisdom is needed, because the social aspects of the conflict are often a bigger factor in the conflict at hand.

Selfish Ambition and Bitter Jealousy

What are these underlying, social issues at work? Scripture calls labels them “selfish ambition” and “bitter jealousy” (James 3:14; cf Phil 1:15-18). False wisdom settles the issue along social lines rather doctrinal lines, which produce “disorder and every vile practice” (James 3:16). The truth of scripture takes a backseat to personal rivalries.

“Selfish ambition” and “bitter jealousy” are two sides of the same coin. Selfish ambition is stepping over others so you can get ahead. Bitter jealousy is holding others back so they don’t get ahead.

The man of selfish ambition puts his own interests first. He thinks, “I’m gonna win this argument, even if I’m in the wrong.” The man of bitter jealousy thinks, “I don’t want my rival to win, even if he’s in the right.” Simply put, selfish ambition is the desire to win at all costs. Bitter jealousy is the desire for one’s rival to lose at all costs.

This is the underlying dynamic of tribalism. We often hold to or reject doctrinal views based on the people who espouse them. For some people, if Doug Wilson believes it, they believe it. For other people, if Doug Wilson believes it, they reject it. Paul said the same thing: “Each one of you says, ‘I follow Paul,’ or ‘I follow Apollos,’ or ‘I follow Cephas’” (1 Cor 1:12).

As stated above, we’re social creatures. God uses churches to teach and safeguard doctrines. Churches will discipline members for failure to uphold true doctrines. This is how the social dimension of theology can be good. It’s not wrong to trust our leaders, knowing they are qualified to teach and provide overside.

Thus, it’s not necessarily wrong to trust leaders and believe the doctrines they teach. Healthy churches operate this way. No one is a pure biblicist. Most people don’t have the time or skill to exhaustively search out the scriptures for answers to every doctrinal riddle. No, we believe things because we trust those who taught them to us.

The devil exploits this fact and uses it against us, and conservative, Bible believing churches are not immune. Churches and theological traditions that value doctrine highly create ripe opportunities for selfish ambition and bitter jealousy to thrive, leading to things like enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, and envy to emerge (Gal 5:20-21).

When we think we’re arguing about doctrine but we’re really arguing about the people who hold those doctrines, we end up in stupid, unresolvable conflicts. We become fools. And this dynamic erodes trust and unity in the body of Christ. James says, “This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic” (3:15). This is all too common.

And it happens all the time, thought it’s hard to see it while its happening. Even if we do see it, we’re not likely to admit it. No one is going to say, “you’re right about this issue, but I’m going to disagree with you anyway because I just don’t like you.” That may be what we’re doing, but we’d feel like an idiot if we say it. So we keep that part safely tucked away, out of sight, and the doctrine itself becomes a proxy war for the real battle against a rival.

The “Big Three” Dividing Points of the Last Decade

Think of all the theological, cultural, and political controversies that have played out in the past few years. In my view, the “big three” controversies of the last few years are (1) COVID, the resultant debates over the relationship of church and state, the vaccine, and how Christians view Donald Trump; (2) various ethnic/racial issues, a biblical understanding of CRT, the BLM riots of 2020, current debates about “the Jews”, and so on; and (3) all things related to sexuality and destruction of the family, such as feminism, abortion, LGBTQ and their militant activism, surrogacy and womb-renting, and so on.

I suspect every reader of this article has experienced significant relational strain in their families or churches regarding one or more of these issues. And resolving conflicts on any of these issues requires extraordinary wisdom that only comes from God. James tells us to pray for it with a promise that God will always answer (James 1:5).

But in the last few years of conflict and division, true wisdom has been hard to find. And even amongst those who are correct about the doctrinal, cultural, or political issues at hand, the social side of the debate is causing further division. Why? Because even though they’re correct about the issue itself, their engagement is driven by settling personal vendettas against their rivals.

James is quite plain: “where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice” (3:16). In other words, heretics aren’t the only agents of chaos. Satan can do just as much damage through guys who are right on all the issues but are driven by pride. The devil can do his work through ego as much as error.

This is what I see in the modern American church. Our house is not in order. “Vile practices” are rampant. Reformed churches can easily become purity-spiraling factions, driven by marketing and ego. Conservatives are good at spotting the doctrinal problems of liberals. But we’re blind to the selfish ambition and bitter jealousy that’s destroying our own churches.

This is my biggest worry about the reformed world. We may be preaching the true gospel in a way that’s “earthly, unspiritual, demonic.”

God will not bless that.

Purity Before Peace

The solution to this problem is not to avoid doctrinal debates. Of course we should debate doctrine. God has always used theological controversy to clarify and refine the truth for the church. These kinds of conflict can be good. But in so doing, we need to keep our hearts in check, recognizing the evergreen temptations of selfish ambition and bitter jealousy.

We also need to be careful who we trust. There are weathervane Christians out there who sense the right-ward blowing of cultural winds and will use the conservative bandwagon to build a brand because courageous Christianity is surging. These guys may be “on our side” in the fight for truth, but they may be doing so for selfish reasons.

The Apostle Paul witnessed it in his ministry. “Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment.” That’s not a heresy problem, that’s a heart problem.

James 3:17 shows us how to do this: “the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”

At a glance, the word “peace” stands out, being mentioned three times. Some Christians make the mistake of jumping straight to the “peace” part. But they overlook what James puts at the head of the list: “pure.” James plainly lays out the order of priority: “wisdom from above is FIRST pure, THEN peaceable.”

The word “pure” means pure doctrine and pure living. In other words, truth comes first. The primacy of truth is the foundation of all the peace that follows.

Martin Luther famously said, “Truth at all costs; peace if possible.” True wisdom seeks purity of truth first. True wisdom doesn’t seek peace at all costs; it seeks truth at all costs, and then establishes peace on the basis of shared truth.

In other words, we should fight for truth for the right reasons, not simply to gain an edge over a rival. When we fight the good fight for truth, we might even get personal, name names, and warn people about false teachers. That’s all in-bounds. But we’re doing so for the sake of truth of the gospel, not to score points for personal vendettas.

Truth is worth fighting for. Truth is worth dividing over. That’s different from the false wisdom described above, which isn’t fighting for truth, but for a personal agenda disguised as a fight for truth. That’s a big difference.

A Personal Example

I’ll conclude with a personal example. I learned this a few years back when our church hit a rough patch. We were experiencing a lot of tension over COVID, race, feminism—you name it. And when you’re trying to lead a church through a complicated minefield of unprecedented cultural issues, the tension gets thick. There’s a pressure to say or do whatever you can to end the conflict and make peace.

But it never works. When you sacrifice truth on the alter of peace, what you end up with is an idolatrous, demonic peace. Christians don’t create peace at the expense of truth. Christians establish truth which becomes the foundation for the peace that follows.

For months during that conflict in my church, I lived in James 3:13-18. I hated the conflict and strife. I hungered badly for peace. It gnawed at my soul. As we wrestled with many complicated cultural issues, I tried to bring the light of scripture to bear with grace and truth. But this effort was met with accusations of being divisive.

This text in James gave me great comfort, reassuring me that God’s truth was doing the dividing, not me. My job was simply to proclaim it.

“Peace at any cost” is a deal with the devil. True peace is always established on a prior commitment to truth. Churches in our day need these kinds of peacemakers. These are the ones who put out brushfires before they spread. True peacemakers don’t run from a fight. They often bring conflicts to the surface early, before it gets too personal. They deal with issues head-on with patience and grace.

James says, “a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace” (3:18). These people are true peacemakers.