God is in the Life Change Business

Five principles for how God trains us to do the right thing for the right reason

This is me playing a little Casio keyboard I had as a kid. With a mullet. We called it a Kentucky waterfall back then.

Don’t criticize. I see kids with mullets all the time these days. I was ahead of my time.

This essay is about doing the right thing for the right reason, and my closing illustration is about what I learned about this from playing the piano.

God is in the Life Change Business

God is in the life change business.

God’s work of changing us happens on two levels simultaneously: (1) the will, and (2) the heart. When our will conforms to God’s, our behaviors will change. When our hearts conform to God’s, our motivations will change. This is what God is producing in the life of every believer.

God seeks to transform the heart, not just the actions that flow from it. He desires a complete change, where obedience arises from love rather than obligation. In Philemon, Paul demonstrates this principle through his approach to a delicate situation, revealing a doctrine with practical implications for daily life.

In Philemon 8, Paul says, “I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required.” Here, Paul is acknowledging his apostolic authority to command Philemon’s will. In Philemon 9, Paul says, “yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you.” Here, Paul is acknowledging his preference to elicit change through different means, by appealing to him on the basis of Christian love. By verse 14, he explains why: “I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord.”

The tone is striking. He walks a tightrope, balancing his apostolic authority with a gentle appeal. He could have ordered Philemon to act, but he chooses persuasion instead. Why? Because there are two ways to do the right thing: out of desire or out of force. Both achieve the same outward result, but the motivation matters.

This distinction is central to God’s work in our lives. Life change isn’t limited to behavior modification. It encompasses the heart. Doing the right thing under compulsion, like an employee following a boss’s orders for a paycheck, fulfills a duty but lacks a deeper heart motivation. Many people endure jobs they dislike, motivated solely by financial incentive. In contrast, doing the right thing because one wants to, out of love, reflects a transformed inner life. Paul wants Philemon’s goodness to flow freely from the heart, not from fear of apostolic reprisal. A command might ensure his compliance, but it would rob him of the higher motivation: love that arises from a transformed heart.

This difference between command and appeal might seem subtle, but it reveals what God ultimately seeks. God isn’t merely after changed behaviors, though he does want that. God wants our hearts to be attuned to his, for us to desire what he desires. That’s the end game of the Christian life. The goal is for our obedience to become an overflow of our desire, a process that unfolds over time. This insight from Philemon offers practical lessons for living faithfully and joyfully.

Below are five principles drawn from this text that illuminate Christian obedience and love.

1. There are Two Levels of Christian Obedience

Obedience operates on two levels. Level one is doing the right thing as an act of will. This is duty-driven obedience, regardless of how we feel about it. Level two is doing the right thing for the right reason, as an act of love, because we love and desire what is good. In both cases, we are obeying God, but the latter is higher because it reflects a heart attuned to God’s will.

2. You Should Always Obey God - Even When You Don’t Want To

It’s always right to obey God, even when the heart isn’t fully engaged. You might wonder if this makes you a hypocrite. Don’t worry, It doesn’t. Hypocrisy is pretending to be righteous while hiding contrary intentions. Reluctant obedience is still obedience, and you can confess your reluctance when you notice it.

Paul’s confidence in Philemon’s obedience. In v21 he says, “knowing that you will do even more than I say.” This statement assumes Philemon’s compliance, regardless of his motives. In the Reformed circles I minister in, I’ve noticed people who have a paralyzing obsession with having pure motives before taking action. I’ve done it myself, and it produces unhealthy morbid introspection.

If we waited for pure motivations before taking action, we’d never get off the couch. We’d be waiting forever, because the pure motivation will never come, this side of eternity. You can’t steer a parked car. Only a car in motion can be directed where you want to go. Similarly, obedience sets the stage for God to sanctify our motives over time. The key is to act and trust God to align the heart with the deed.

3. The Arc of Sanctification Moves From Duty to Delight

Sanctification, which is the process of growing in holiness, moves from duty to delight. C. S. Lewis described duty as a crutch that helps us in our obedience while our desires take time to catch up. He said, “A perfect man would never act from a sense of duty; he’d always want the right thing more than the wrong one. Duty is only a substitute for love (of God and of other people) like a crutch which is a substitute for a leg. Most of us need the crutch at times; but of course it is idiotic to use the crutch when our own legs (our own loves, tastes, habits etc.) can do the journey on their own.”

Behaviors often change before desires do. New believers, for instance, need rules to guide them, much like children need structure. Jesus’ call in Matthew 16:24 to “deny himself and take up his cross” reflects this early stage, where obedience is an act of self-denial, an act of will against natural inclinations.

For example, a new Christian might pray for 15 minutes out of discipline, not because he wants to, but because he’s supposed to, even though he’d rather distract himself by scrolling on his phone. Yet the Holy Spirit, indwelling every believer, gradually transforms those desires. Over time, the reluctant discipline of prayer duty becomes delight. When he’s more mature in Christ, he might pray those same 15 minutes because he’s grown to love it, seeing it as vital communion with God. This arc isn’t linear. There will be obstracles and setbacks. But it’s the trajectory of a Spirit-led life.

Parenting mirrors this. Young children thrive under rules: bedtime, nap time, snack time, and other routines. They don’t know what’s best for them, but their parents do. So godly parents impose structure on them, against their will, and require compliance over the child’s objections. That’s a benevolent dictatorship, and it’s good for children. But as they mature, rules give way to choices. When they are young adults, they may have a greater understanding of what’s truly good, having their hearts trained in their youth towards the virtue they learned from their parents.

This is the way it works for all of us. The goal isn’t mere compliance but a heart that wants the good. This shift reflects God’s work from external commands to internal desire.

4. Love Must Be Always Be Free. It Can Never Be Compelled.

Love is the highest form of obedience, and it cannot be compelled. This is a timeless truism, captured in fairy tales, where a genie or witch tells someone they can’t use their magic to make someone love them. That’s because love is and must always be free, an overflow of desire, not coerced.

Freedom is baked into the definition of love. Jesus’ great commandment in Matthew 22:37-39 tells us to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind” and “love your neighbor as yourself.” Here, he tells us the standard, but the application must be freely determined by individual Christians. Specific commands in scripture may show us how to love (like the 10 Commandments, for example), but the goal is a heart that freely chooses it.

Paul says this explicitly in 1 Timothy 1:5, saying, “The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.” This “aim” of love is behind Paul’s appeal to Philemon, where he tells him he could issue a command, but he preferred to appeal to him on the basis of love. Love is and must always be free, not coerced.

5. The Man Who Truly Loves God is the Freest Man on Earth

The man who truly loves God is the freest man on earth. How is this so? Jesus’ righteousness flows from His nature, not external pressure. He loves us not because he’s forced to, but because it’s who he is. The love of Christ is the free expression of his perfect character.

In 2 Corinthians 3:17-18, Paul writes, “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom,” as believers are “transformed into [Christ’s] image from one degree of glory to another.” In other words, the Spirit of the Lord is not merely turning sinners into robots who comply with God’s commands. Rather, the Spirit of the Lord gives freedom by transforming our desires to mirror Christ himself. Simply put, the end of sanctification is to want what God wants us to want. When our desires perfectly align with God’s, we will love as he loves, freeing us to act as an expression of who we truly are.

This is God’s endgame. God is transforming us into people whose obedience is effortless because our actions spring from desires that are fully transformed by God. Doing what’s right will be our native tongue.

St. Augustine once put it this way: “Love God and do what you will.” What does he mean? He’s referring to God’s promise that a soul fully transformed by God’s love won’t offend God.

Our love will be genuine. We will love what God loves. We will hate what God hates (Rom 12:9). The most free Christian is the one most fully attuned to the character of God. This is what we will be like in heaven. In eternity, there will be no need for commands or laws, because we will be fully sanctified, thus everyone will freely act according to the inclinations of his perfected loves.

Conclusion

Let me conclude this essay with a personal example. When I was young, I loved playing the piano, but I wasn’t “free” to just play anything I wanted. I had to learn the rules of music first: beats, measures, notes, chords, patterns, scales, and so on. I have a book full of drills I had to practice over and over. It wasn’t fun and it didn’t sound good, but I forced myself to do them because I was aiming at a higher freedom.

Over time, the rules of music were so burned into my mind and hands that I developed the freedom to play pretty much anything I wanted. The duty of practice produced the freedom to play what I desire. Now, when I play music, the actual mechanics of playing is second nature and effortless, I don’t think about what I’m doing, it just comes out because I hear it in my head.

This is what Christian freedom is like, and that’s what God is producing in every believer. As we grow in Christ (and certainly when we’re perfected in eternity), we won’t have to think about what pleases God or what doesn’t please God, because pleasing God will be a second nature habit developed through the course of practicing obedience.

Obeying God out of duty, when we don’t want to, is the crutch. Eventually, however, we will obey God out of desire, because we will desire what God desires. That’s love. That’s freedom. And that’s the best way to live.

King’s Domain Conference: Future Proof Christianity

We’re exactly one month away from the conference, and we’re excited for what we’ve got in store. The main speaker lineup is outstanding, we’ve also got two excellent women’s breakout speakers, and a singles mixer. The price is low (only $120).

The question we’re seeking to answer at the conference is this: “what do Christians need to do now to prepare for the next twenty years?” Our speakers will answer this question from multiple angles, such as church life, family life, education, and technology.

If you haven’t registered yet, please do so ASAP! I hope to see you there!

Plain Speech Podcast with Dr. Joe Rigney

I recently interviewed Dr. Joe Rigney to talk about his new book, “The Sin of Empathy” (Canon Press). This concept has stirred up a lot of controversy, but if you listen to the interview (and read the book), you’ll discover that Rigney is addressing a real problem that is causing much trouble in our society. Check it out. It’s really good and helpful.

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